Thursday, October 15, 2015

Water Girl: bowling team

WANTED: Water girl. Bring us water and food. Pay is little fun is huge. Catch: it's for a bowling team. Uncatch: We'll share our prize money. 

Call **********

This is the 15th add I've replied to. If it says money, I'll take it. I get the job. Requirements were: be sexy to throw the other teams off. I guess I'm sexy enough to distract a bowling team. I start on Wednesday. 

The 12 pound ball glides off my fingers whooshing through the air, only to drop the floor with a bang. 
"Jardin! Hit the pins down, not the floorboards!" Mark yells. He's my "boss," my very sexy boss. 
The team laughs. I pick up another ball and hurl it down the lane. Gutterball! 
Mark laughs. I start getting angry. 
"You know, the point of bowling is to actually hit the pins." 
"Well the point of being a water girl is not to bowl. So shut up." I say dejectly. Mark pulls me aside. 
"Hey these guys have been playing since they were kids. Except Brett. He started last month. He's weird though." True. "What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't beat yourself up." His big brown eyes concentrate on mine. 
"It doesn't really matter since I'm just the water girl." I reply. 
"Well speaking of that, we've got a home game next..." He says but I don't hear. I'm too busy looking at his soft hair, and sharp jaw line. "...lemonade. Are you listening?"
"Yeah yeah game next Friday."
Mark laughs. He tells me that since I'm here I might as well learn to bowl. He gives me an 8 pound ball. It looks like paper in his strong arms. Focus. 
"Go ahead, and toss is like this." He makes a pose. I step up to the lane, swing my arm back, close my eyes. Swing my arm forward, let go. I turn around. ...
"You hit a pin!"
"I hit a pin!!?"
Mark runs up, and very awkwardly high fives me. 

Next Tuesday. Big day. Grizzly Bowls (me) take on The Fast Lane. There are other teams, but let's be honest. We're the best. If we win, our teams of five gets 10,000 dollars and a free trip to the bowling nationals. Mark is captain, Brett, Jim, and Antoine are star players. I'm the water girl. The prospect of 2,000 dollars brightens my day. I got off the bus at 10:40. The tournament starts at 11:00. Now I sit here waiting. I have already set up the water cooler, and put in some lemonade powder. Slowly people start arriving. None of the other teams have water girls. I feel prettyyyy dumb. Finally my team gets here. 
"Hey guys!" 
"Hi piper" is the monotonous reply. 
Considering that bowling isn't a very exerting sport, Mark comes over to me for breaks quite a bit. 
"We're on a roll!!" Mark will say. We've beat 3 teams now. The Fast Lane just needs to defeat the Pig Pins to advance and face us. Jim heads over. 
"Cup please." 
"Right away!"
I hand him a waiting cup of lemonade. The first cup to be given out. 
Jim takes a sip and his face turns bright red! He drops the cup screaming, "What kind of water is that?!!?" 
"It's not water, it's lemonade!" 
Jim falls to the ground, gasping for air. 
"Call.. An ambulance.." 
"I Don't have a phone !!" Mark and Antoine run over. Mark dials 9-11. 
"Piper! Don't tell me you brought lemonade!" Antoine yells "Jim is allergic to lemonade powder. ALLERGIC PIPER." 
I start crying. "I didn't know!" I wail. "Now Jim is going to die and its all my fault!"
The paramedics rush in and put Jim on a stretcher. A woman comes over to tell me that Jim will be fine. 
The Fast Lane just won their match. We're up against them, without Jim. Uh-oh. We need 4 bowlers. I'll save you the trouble of reading that embarrassment. We lose, horribly. Mark doesn't say a word. I very much dislike bowling. I call jim. He's fine, but the medical bill was pretty big. I offer to pay what I can... Which is basically nothing. At least no one pulled a gun on me today lol. 

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